Depending on what type of #millennial you are, you might find that the notification you get every Sunday morning is causing you more grief then your tequila-induced hangover. And no, I’m not talking about the reminders from tinder that you’re painfully single, I’m talking about your screen time.
When Apple brought out this feature a couple of years ago, I for one took it as personal attack. I know I spend more hours on social media then I do asleep, but that doesn’t mean I want to see it IN WRITING and in a COLOUR-CODED GRAPH. And despite being a stereotypical Taurus with the ability to ignore all my issues without an inch of guilt, I’ve still yet to opt out of these notifications. Why? Because on the rare occasion my weekly average goes down even 1%, it’s a win for me.
Over the past month my friends and I have been comparing screen times (because these are the mundane things we need to know about each other obvi), and the one thing I’ve noticed is that everyone’s average sort of makes a lot of sense. Like my brother rarely surpasses 2 hours a day, and that pretty much sums him up as a person.
Read on if you’d like to know my subjective predictions of what your screen time says about you;
0-2 HOUR AVERAGE;
Congratulations, you don’t have an addiction to your phone. But I also get the vibe that you like to let everyone know it, too. You probably work a labour-intensive job, check your emails once a month (if you’ve even got an email), and would rather watch Foxtel than Netflix. Have fun being the 1% of those born in the 90s that don’t have phone-induced arthritis in their hands 30 years from now.
2-5 HOUR AVERAGE;
Straight up, you’ve probably got the best work-life balance in your friend group and don’t feel anxious when you’ve gone an hour without your phone. OR you could’ve just spend the whole of Saturday napping with the world’s worst hangover and that’s brought your weekly average down. Either way, good for you. You also probably know how to save money. So good for you again.
5-8 HOUR AVERAGE;
This is what I like to call: the half-way point. You’re 5 minutes from being a regular functioning adult with their priorities in check, and 5 minutes away from being the disappointment of your family. I also like to call it ~my weekly average~. If you fit into this category, you’re definitely in the know of pop-culture trends, you’re currently talking to your friends on 3 different social platforms AND you’ve been asked to join a pyramid scheme at least once in your life. You better have said no.
8-11 HOUR AVERAGE;
Two scenarios here; you’re either borderline addicted to technology OR you’re a social media coordinator. You’re the type of person who can converse with someone online AND in person at the same time – without offending either of them. You’ve got 100+ things on your Netflix watch list that you plan to watch as background noise for whatever social media app you feel like falling down the rabbit hole of today. Yet. despite spending half your life on your phone, you probably don’t want to teach your grandma how to use hers.
11 HOUR + AVERAGE;
I don’t have anything to say. Just put in some eye drops and go to sleep.