Whenever one thinks of cognitive decline in the elderly, it is usually the extreme changes that come to mind. The lack of lucidity, the bad temper, the slurred speeches. In fact, when I think of my grandfather’s regression, my first memory is him reprimanding us for “hiding” the ice cream from him.
It would be easy to make a movie about dementia and fill it with all the stereotypes. Whether you’d like a drama showing the intense rage or a comedy showcasing ridiculous situations a confused old person could get up to, the fodder is there.
But this is not the path that Sarah Friedland’s debut, Familiar Touch, takes.
Familiar Touch is instead a quietly reflective work that forces us to acknowledge dementia as her protagonist, Ruth (Kathleen Chalfant), knows it.
And I do mean quietly.
The film is mostly devoid of background music and unnecessary background chatter or sounds. If you do hear chatter, it is restricted to only what Ruth can hear. So for the majority of the film, you feel like you are Ruth, watching yourself from outside your body.
Ruth is a former cook who finds herself living her last chapter in the memory care unit of an aged care facility. A facility, she had chosen for herself in more lucid times.
Yes, Ruth has the stereotypical loss of memory associated with dementia. However, she is still surprisingly sharp for an octogenarian.
During a health check up, she almost flawlessly rattles off the ingredients and steps for making Borscht. Would someone with dementia remember the recipe for Borscht, she asks. I’m inclined to side with Ruth on this one.
Similarly, my favourite scene is when Ruth mistakenly rushes into the facility’s kitchen, thinking she’s late for her shift.
While the staff are initially sceptical, the minute the apron goes on, Ruth is in her element. She is deftly prepping the fruit salad. She is also the kindly mentor, eager to guide a young sous chef and congratulating the head chef on his new role. Her staff kindly play along with their new roles.
In fact, all the staff in the facility seem exceedingly accommodating and almost too familiar.
This utopia seems incongruent for a film that seems intent on showing the nuances of dementia. Friedland does a great job layering Ruth’s character. She shows us that her true self is still buried beneath the fog.
However, the caregivers in this movie seem plastic. Surely they would show some form of stress from the chronic cycle of herding a ward of high needs patients?
All we get is one scene where two staff members get uncharacteristically (by this film’s standard anyway) cross at Ruth. While their frustration is understandable, their reaction seems extreme considering their pandering in the earlier parts of the movie.
Another surprise this film offers comes in the form of comedian H Jon Benjamin.
Benjamin famously voices Archer (Archer) and Bob Belcher (Bob’s Burgers), the main characters of two opposite but equally wacky animated comedy series.
He plays these characters so well that I struggled to imagine him taking on dramatic role. Especially without the security of hiding in a recording studio.
But he nails it.
While Archer is over the top narcisstic, Benjamin’s Steve is a whirlpool of restraint and emotion.
From the first scene where Ruth mistakes Steve for a date, you can sense his weariness. He is doing his best to keep his mum’s charade going, without crossing any lines, to maintain her peace of mind.
Similarly, without saying a word, you can see the heartbreak in Benjamin’s eyes as he is dismissed from the aged care home.
Reviewers are almost unanimous is praising Chalifant’s portrayal of Ruth. However,1 kudos need to be given Benjamin too. I wish we could have seen more of him to be honest.
This brings me to my final thoughts on Familiar Touch. Overall, it does a solid job of presenting a “point of view” movie of living with dementia.
However, I wish it teased more out of the relationships between Ruth and her carers to give us a more comprehensive view.
Familiar Touch is now showing in cinemas.